Hello.

This past month I have had to say the word, good-bye more times than I would like. Good-bye to things that once were, good-bye as my college age daughter goes back to school, and good-bye to circumstances that were unhealthy. All these good-byes have left me a bit numb and sore in the heart. 

As I was checking out at the grocery store yesterday, a woman said, “happy almost spring!”. She is right, spring is right around the corner and though spring in Northern Michigan does not bring to mind flowers and extreme sunshine, the word spring brings with it the feelings of new life. It means the first trilliums will pop forth from the ground, the birds and their songs will return, and Easter is coming soon. 

The season of Easter holds both good-byes and hellos. In the Christian faith, we are saying good-bye to the physical body of Christ and hello to new life everlasting. Some Christians observe Lent by sacrificing something they enjoy for the forty days leading up to Easter. It is a temporary good-bye to something they enjoy. During the forty days as they focus on the life of Christ there is a deep hello to the gift of his sacrifice, the peace given in the midst of storms, and the joy that transcends all circumstances.  

With all of my recent good-byes I am challenging myself to say hello to three new things by the end of March. One hello has been a new flavor of tea. I am someone who likes what I like and tend not to deviate from my normal foods. This week I decided to pick-up a new tea, to embrace a new flavor, and allow myself to like it or dislike it. The purpose of the hellos is to try something new, not necessarily find a new favorite thing. Practicing saying hello has helped me focus my attention on the fact that I am empowered to choose what I bring into my life each day. 

What could you say hello to this week?

With love, Jennifer

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Spring vegetables are coming soon, and nothing says hello health like a good veggie plate. Check out these great veggie dip recipes.

INGREDIENTS:

• ½ cup mayonnaise

• ½ cup plain yogurt or sour cream

• 1 tablespoon curry powder

• ½ teaspoon turmeric, see notes

• Optional: ½ teaspoon sriracha, if you like it spicy

• ¼ teaspoon sea salt

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Mix the ingredients together in a medium-sized bowl. 

2. Let the dip rest for a half-hour in your fridge before serving it.

3. Eat with crackers, veggies, or just with a spoon!

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INGREDIENTS

• 1 large avocado

• ¼ cup mayonnaise, sugar-free, if needed

• 1 tablespoon parsley

• 1 tablespoon lemon juice

• 1 teaspoon fresh dill

• 1 sprig green onion, green part only

• A generous pinch of salt and pepper

• ¾ - 1 cup water, start with ¾ cup

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Add all ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth. Add more water if you would like a thinner dressing.

2. Preferably, set the dressing aside to let the flavors meld for 15 minutes.

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This week I headed to a meeting that was a life-sucker. The energy it required, the room filled with people that knew each other but I didn’t know, and the overwhelming feeling of isolation it left me with was a real drain. It reminded me of a times when my kids were young, and I got to attend their award ceremonies and activities. They were moments of celebration and excitement, but they also were life-suckers for me. 

One night I attended a soap box derby race to cheer my kids on. They had spent time with a wonderful family building their race cars and everyone was excited. While the races happened, I was fully consumed in the joy of the moment but in between races I found myself sitting alone, observing the room, and feeling a bit isolated. It was a moment where being a single mom felt lonely even though I was in a room filled with people. As I felt my energy depleting and sadness entering in, I decided to do something life giving. After the race instead of going home with feelings of loneliness I called up a friend and asked if we could stop by, show her the soap box derby cars, and eat some ice cream. 

When we got to her house, she made a huge deal out of the amazingly designed cars and scooped up bowls of ice cream. The visit only lasted about thirty minutes, but it changed the night for me. I went home feeling connected and my children had their love buckets filled. 

There are many items on our calendars that may be great events, like a soap box derby race, and still be life-suckers for us. They leave us in a place of feeling down. I have found that if I can identify the events that may be like this ahead of time and ask myself what life-giving thing I can do to balance the down feelings, my heart stays in a much better place.

With love, Jennifer

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We all get overwhelmed at times. One way to combat this is to ask a couple of questions about our calendars. Below are four steps to simplify your calendar and ensure that life-giving activities are penciled in.

Create or look at your monthly calendar. Make sure you work, school, activities, parenting schedule, etc. are all on the calendar. 

1. Look at each activity and ask yourself: “Is this a MUST? What is the benefit of this calendar item? Is this a life-giving or life-sucking event?”.

2. Eliminate the items that are not musts and do not hold any benefit for you or your family. 

3. Next to each item that you identified as a life-sucker think of something you can do that would be life-giving and schedule it in next to the life-suckers (Life-giving activities could include: time with a friend, a hot drink, a dance party with your kids, a drive to a favorite spot, a walk next to the water, a funny movie, etc.).

When we are pro-active with scheduling life-giving items into our calendar, we will find that we burn out less, feel more connected, and life seems a bit more manageable.

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“I am so sick of running through the drive-thru and it is killing my budget.” 

Are you looking for a cheap meal, that will fill-up your family and is still nutritious? Look no further, it is the baked potato!

A bag of potatoes can be washed up, poked with holes, wrapped in aluminum foil, and put to bake for 60 minutes at 425 degrees. Most weeks I cook up a whole bag of potatoes and then put them in the refrigerator to eat throughout the week. I tell my kids to take out a potato, warm it up and top it with anything they want. Here are some of our favorite toppings:

• Butter with salt

• Chili on top

• Sour cream and shredded cheese

• Leftover taco meat with shredded cheese

• Chicken soup

• Bacon, chives, shredded cheese

• Hot sauce (one kid just loves this)

Lately, I have taken special interest in vibrant colors. Bright blue, green and canary yellow feel good right now. When the skies are gray, I seek out color in other places. My mother wears brighter clothes in opposition of the dreary. Sun lamps shine at the Single MOMM office, casting brighter shadows on the walls. And meeting notes are taken with brightly colored markers. Perhaps in our own little ways we each seek to color our days.

In Single MOMM’s reVIVE Course (www.revivecourse.org) we do an introspective activity called Coloring the Days. Every woman is asked to choose a color for each day of the week and then give a reason as to why she chose a certain color for a certain day. We quickly find out in our small groups that many of us choose different colors and even if we choose the same, it is not for the same reason.

Today, I needed to refocus a bit and decided to take my markers and color my days. When I sat back to study my colorful week I zoomed in on Wednesdays. I had given the day the color gray. Why, was it gray? Hmmm…. I think it is gray because it is in the middle. It is the day of the week where I feel like my weekend preparedness to start Monday has faded and I am struggling to keep up with stuff. Once I had this light revelation it was tempting to move on from my colorful week. Instead, I asked myself the question, “Is there any way for me to make Wednesdays brighter?” 

My mind drifted to thoughts of good food, a movie, my bathtub filled with bubbles, and worship music. All of these do brighten my spirit but none of them seemed to fit right. Finally, I thought about slowing down my Wednesdays. Underneath the gray color, was the feeling of running on the hamster wheel. The day feels too full. My new goal is to take away something on Wednesdays. I don’t know what that is yet, but I am thinking on it.

What would the color of your days be? Why? And are there any colors you could choose to change?

With love, Jennifer

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Welcome to Hibernate!

Over the next four weeks Single MOMM will send out a weekly word of encouragement, activity to consider, and new recipe to try. In the last cold weeks of winter, it can be easy to become discouraged as we wait for the warm light to come back. Hibernating with good food, warm words, and soft blankets can fuel our hearts, souls, and minds.

If you could take one item into Hibernation with you, what would it be? 

A milk frother!

This simple item has been lost to me for decades. In case you and I are like minded and a bit behind the times in our barista knowledge, a milk frother is: 

A utensil for making milk froth, typically to be added to coffee (cappuccino, latte, etc.). It aerates the milk, creating a thick but light foam. – thank you Wikipedia!

I have enjoyed my latte or flat white at our local coffee shops for years, never thinking about how the drinks are made, until I was gifted a frother. This device can be purchased in the form of a whisk for under $10 or as part of an elaborate system for way over $200 dollars. Much to my amazement we have one attached to the back side of our coffee machine at our office.

Shortly after Christmas, all our snow went away. I felt myself feeling a bit blue as I looked out over the brown landscape. I wanted to pull away with a good book, hot drink, and blanket. My desire was to see light, whether it was the bright reflection from the snow or the actual sun shining, but that just wasn’t what the weather was doing. I felt so grumpy, short tempered, and blamed my mood on others. Life just wasn’t lining up with how I wanted it to be. 

Somewhere during my grumpiness old memories started to surface. I began recalling all the times I felt that life wasn’t supposed to be a certain way. Can you relate to this feeling? The feelings that surface when we experience life as unfair, when we don’t understand why something is the way that it is, or we feel that we are entitled to different circumstances. 

In these feelings I find it dark. I can’t really see beyond the right now. I want the world to be bright again.

This is a small prayer I have found helpful during these times:

“God, thank you for being the Creator of all things and all seasons. I know that you say, you are for us, you are good, and you love us unconditionally. I am struggling today. I feel like life is broken and I can’t see a clear way forward. You say you draw near to the broken hearted. I am broken hearted, thank you for drawing near to me. Please help my eyes and heart to see the light that is in the midst of the darkness. Give me the wisdom to know when to be still and when to act. Thank you for listening to my heart and responding.” 

With love, Jennifer

How to make vanilla simple syrup:

1 cup water
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

Instructions:

To a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, add water and sugar.
Bring to a boil and stir until all sugar has dissolved (2-3 minutes).
Remove from heat and add vanilla extract. Stir to combine.
Allow the syrup to cool. Then, place it in an airtight container to store in the refrigerator.

How to Froth Milk without a Frother:

Warm your choice of milk in microwave or on stovetop.

Jar Method: Place your warmed milk in a jar, screw the lid on very tightly, and shake away!

Electric Hand Mixer Method: Using a hand mixer, whisk the milk until it reaches the desired frothiness.

Blender Method: Pour your warm milk into a blender and blend on medium speed until frothy. (Make sure to cover the lid of your blender with a dish towel)

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After saying this prayer during the dark winter months a few years back I decided to actively look for the bright spots. I cut out colorful dots and wrote down sunshine moments that I would see in my day. My moments consisted of a smile from a stranger, free samples at Cherry Republic, soaking my feet in hot water with a little bit of lavender bubble bath, laughing at a funny movie, etc. 

In a different season of life, I was inspired by a friend who traced her foot and cut out multiple footsteps. She was in a season where she could not see a next step. It felt like the lights went out on life. She was facing some major decisions and couldn’t see which way to go. In the evening she would reflect on her day, and ask the question, “Did I see any clues in this day that pointed to a next step?”. She found some days the answer was no and others she would recognize affirming words from someone else, a piece of wisdom she picked up in a conversation, a message on a billboard that spoke to her heart, or the quiet whisper of God’s presence pointing her in a direction. Over time she had a path of footprints that eventually pointed her in a specific direction. She believes the dark season increased her ability to really listen and be present in the moment.