A note from a dear friend of mine, enjoy!
One of my most epic fails came in the summer of 2015. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. Conflicting emotions rolled around inside me…the ones that came with little voices that said, “I am so glad my friend has been blessed with a great man. Will it ever be my turn? I am so happy for her, but my heart aches at the idea of being in a wedding. How is this going to change our friendship?” It took me some time to really embrace the idea of being in the wedding but once I did, I was ready to be bridesmaid of the year!
When the price tag for the bridesmaid dress came my way I about passed out. NO WAY could I afford to purchase the dress. It had taken me a few years after my divorce to get out of debt. I had worked really hard to learn how to take care of my finances and I knew charging this dress on my credit card was not an option. I decided to search ebay and found the dress a few sizes bigger than me. My friend’s mom was amazing at sewing so I made a quick call to her and she said she would be happy to take the dress in. I clicked purchase and felt completely empowered.
When the dress arrived, I made sure to measure myself in all the places I was told. It was a struggle to measure my bust line just right. I turned the dress and measurements over to my friend’s mom and made sure to purchase a push-up bra in hopes of filling out the dress. As the wedding drew closer, I got more and more excited. It would be a night off from my kids, celebrating dear friends, and hopefully dancing with Mr. Right!
On the big day we ate an amazing lunch, got our nails and hair done, laughed a ton, and waited in the tiny office at the church for the pastor’s wife to say it was time. I glanced at myself in the mirror and for the first time in a long time thought, ”I look kinda sexy.” At the last minute we all got into our dresses and helped zip one another up. My friend looked breath taking and I looked… off. To be exact my breasts looked out of place. I had to glance at myself multiple times before I realized that the built-in bra cups of the dress rested inches lower than my actual breasts. “Did I measure my bust line wrong, was it the push-up bra?” Looking back, it was probably both. Whatever the cause the end result was four bumps on the front of my dress. For a brief moment I thought, “nobody will notice”. Wrong. Bridesmaid #2 looked at me, made an odd face, and said, “what is wrong with your dress?” I was mortified and I was headed down the aisle.
I am grateful that I can remember the wedding ceremony and look back and know that I was able to set aside my pride and focus on my friend. However, after the ceremony was a different story. I wanted to cry. Through controlled laughter all the other bridesmaids tried to make me feel better. As the music played at the reception I hid in a corner and definitely didn’t dance with Mr. Right. Half-way through the night Bridesmaid #2 pulled me onto the dance floor. I awkwardly attempted to dance while keeping my arms in front of my breasts. When the song YMCA came on, I rapidly moved to exit the dance floor. With a tug on my arm and a look from my friend that said, “Come on, let it go!” I timidly stayed. As the song progressed and everyone laughed around me, I started to let go. I began to laugh. I let my arms reach up to the sky. I really looked at the faces around me and smiled. I felt free.
When I got home that night, I stood in front of the mirror. The four bumps looked odd. I smiled and began to laugh at my reflection. That’s when it hit me – I was sexy. My smile, the way I had become comfortable in my own skin, all of that was sexy. That night held an epic fail, that I am so grateful for today. It helped me gain a bit more self-confidence, become more content with who I am, and allowed me to not take myself so seriously.
I don’t know about you, but I need to get more and more comfortable in my own skin. Today, I raise my glass and toast us all. May we realize how sexy we are, whether we are sporting a dress with four bumps or in our comfy clothes at the end of a long hard day. Let us laugh harder and smile deeper.
- Jane
The debate is on. What is the best way to eat eggs? Inspired by our movie choice of the week, Runaway Bride we are exploring this question. Here are answers from some of our staff.
Eggs as a toppers:
The first time I had an egg on top of a sweet potato, garlic, onion, sausage, brussel sprout stir-fry I fell in love. It was cooked over easy so the yolk was runny – not slimy. It was perfection. This experience led me to the whole new world of eggs as toppers. They can be added to a hamburger, put on top of hashbrowns, and even added to the top of chunkier soups. Yum!
Eggs as casserole:
An oldie but a goodie. Nothing compares to the perfect egg casserole. It can feed a multitude and is a secret weapon for all of us penny pinchers. Egg casserole is one of my great comfort foods and I love making it in the wintertime. Here is one of my favorite recipes:
Last week I saw a story on the news about a mom who would send her kids outside to build a snowman every time they got too rambunctious in the house. They had built 36 snowmen by the time the story aired. With the hope of warmer temperatures this week, why not spend some time building a snowman or two (or 36).
The movie Runaway Bride is one of our favorites. We quote it in the reVIVE Course and can talk at length about all the self-reflection questions that come from it.
Each man Julia Robert’s character had been in a relationship with is asked the question, “How does she like her eggs?” and they all reply with, “The same way I do.” Richard Gear confronts her about this, saying that she doesn’t know herself at all. By the end of the movie, Julia Roberts ends up spending time alone, discovering what her dreams are, who she was meant to be, and how she likes her eggs.
“I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I’d like to get married on a weekday while everybody’s at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.”
- Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride
If you could get more curious about yourself, and ask yourself a question about what your favorites are, what would the question be? Would it be, “How do I like my eggs?” or “What makes me truly laugh?” We would love to hear from you. Drop a note in the comment section and let us know what question you are asking yourself and if you have an answer to it.
Text: 231-227-3153
Call: 231-944-1710
Email: info@singlemomm.org
Mentorship 360
This is a uniquely designed mentorship program. It begins by viewing each individual as a whole being - physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental. It builds upon a mutual trust between the mentor and mentee. Topics range from parenting to finances to how to maintain life during this crisis.
We are now offering Mentorship 360 by appointment at SM office, via phone, or by Zoom. Contact us to schedule time with a mentor.
The reVIVE Course
Did you have hopes, plans, and dreams?
Does it feel like you’re climbing aimlessley in the dark without a clear next step?
Maybe the life you desire for you and your children seems unattainable.
Do you want to chart a bold new direction for you and your family?
If this sounds like you and you desire to...
• Gather with a community of strong women who understand single motherhood
• Strengthen skills like personal boundary setting • Regain hope, inspiration, and self-confidence
• Find time to discover what makes your heart come alive • Increase your ability to make informed decisions for your family
• Overcome personal barriers ...then we invite you to join our community of single moms who are walking through our stories, embracing the mess, uncovering our greatness, and living courageously.
