I met Cristine, when I was eighteen. She and I were both part of a ministry in Texas. I remember watching her former husband win her heart. Years later I got word that her brother-in-law passed away while gifting his liver to his brother, her husband. The tragedy made national news and left her sister-in-law widowed with three young sons. Not long after, I heard that Cristine and her husband divorced and then came the news that he married the sister-in-law that had lost her husband during the liver transplant.
It was almost more than I could comprehend, and so many questions swirled through my head. How was Cristine doing? What happened (even though this is none of my business)? How are her boys doing? Is her former husband doing okay?
Then she started to write, and it was about her journey forward. As the blog posts unfolded, she shared about lessons learned in counseling, empowering moments of recognizing who she is, and forgiveness – the hard journey of forgiveness and its sweet freedom.
In the summer of 2019 a group of us from Single MOMM climbed Pikes Peak in Colorado and we visited with her.
She is real. She is humble. She is messy. She is a delight.
Below is her latest blog. To read more go to www.extraordinaryexchange.blog
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In the waiting:
I’ve been thinking a lot about advice I’ve heard over the years: Make the leap! Choose adventure! Climb every mountain! Take a risk! Go out on a limb! And then I thought of my mom’s mantra: Stand, and stand firm. She didn’t run from trials or back down from challenges. She knew they would make her stronger and more resilient. Her example really helped me get through the last decade.
So I learned to sit, to wait. I waited through panic attacks, days of discomfort, bouts of depression, seasons of insecurity, and years of feeling paralyzed. I would run but not far, I would hide but not for long. My mom had taught me to sit with the uneasiness and wait in the uncertainty. And my dad taught me to keep my heart right in the process. As a result, I have been able to process the gifts found in the circumstances of what the last eleven years have brought me…
What they brought me:
My FH (former husband) had a liver transplant.
His donor, my brother-in-law, passed away. As a result, my FH lost his brother, my former sister-in-law became a widow, and my nephews lost their dad.
My marriage ended in divorce.
I went from being a full-time mom to seeing my kids 50% of the time.
My FH and former sister-in-law got married.
My Grandma passed away.
My Nana passed away.
My Grandpa passed away.
And then, my mother passed away.
So many life changes. So much loss.
What they gifted me:
My brother-in-law gave my FH a chance at life.
My former sister-in-law and I forged a new friendship, my nephews gained a father and my boys gained three amazing step-brothers and an incredible step-mom.
I went to counseling (for several years).
I learned to appreciate and make good use of the time I have with my boys.
I experienced intense healing.
I got to be with my Grandma often and then at the end when she entered heaven.
I saw my Nana turn 100 and spent quality time with her the final years and days of her life.
I got to take care of my Grandpa in his final weeks as he counted down the days until he got to be with my Nana.
I somehow won the lottery when God was assigning moms. We got 50 incredible years together that I wouldn’t trade for 100 with anyone else.
Do you see how this works? It truly is about letting God fuse our pain with His redemptive grace. Think of life’s bitter trials as vinegar and the beautiful gifts birthed out of growth as the purest olive oil money can buy. When you put them together, they make something useful and tasty called vinaigrette.
I would not be who I am today without the pain that drove me to get help. God transformed me from a shell of myself who questioned my purpose, to someone who understands that God created me for His works and for this time! God blended my trials, heartache, disappointment and insecurities with His healing power, words of life, and calling on my life. This fostered an environment of a deep and rich understanding of His selfless love.
We can walk around wounded and broken, splintered and bitter. And we will likely receive kindness from our fellow humans because life isn’t fair and most people are empathetic. Or we can go get help—we can receive care and choose to be around people who push us to heal and grow and we can spend time in God’s word and learn how to forgive and move forward. Yep, those are the two options.
Cristine Arnold
This past week a single mom came in for a mentoring session and declared that her house was like a circus. Between being quarantined because of a COVID exposure, and the cold temperatures her family had major house-a-tosies. We laughed together and we shed some tears together as we brainstormed creative ways to embrace the circus.
Pancakes for dinner are always a great option!
This week consider taking your favorite pancake recipe and make shapes with it. Even my older kids can get into this, and we end up making creatures of all designs.
We are 3 weeks to spring and 2 weeks to daylight savings time beginning! The days have more light in them, and we have had some great sunshine – whoo hoo!
Now is time to make a 3-week say good-by to winter, bucket list. Yes, I know that “winter” can drag on up here in the north, but that shouldn’t stop us from making a 3-week say good-by to winter officially leaving list.
Here are things to consider putting on a bucket list:
Try snow shoeing
Make some kick butt apple cider – the recipes online are great for this
Pick out an old scarf at home and use it as an accessory for the day
Take a hot bath
Find a perfect chili recipe
Do a puzzle
Choose a local trail and hike in the snow
Catch a snowflake on your tongue
Go winter camping
Write a thank you note
A musical that reappears on our screen about every three months is, The Greatest Showman. We love the songs. If you are looking for a way to embrace the crazy circus that may be going on in your family, consider watching this musical.
If you don’t have time to watch the musical, we would encourage you to play the song, This is Me, sometime this week and remember that you are glorious!
We would love to hear how you see yourself in the song, This is Me. Leave a comment or reach out to us at Single MOMM, 231-944-1710.
With Love,
Jennifer & The Single MOMM Team
Text: 231-227-3153
Call: 231-944-1710
Email: info@singlemomm.org
The reVIVE Course
Registration is open for the reVIVE Course! It’s time to explore who you are: www.revivecourse.org/register
“The reVIVE Course is kind of like a 13-week personality test.
It’s a space to explore all the things you don’t get time to look at because you’re taking care of everyone else; things like what you love, what you’re passionate about, what your thinking style is, and how to create healthy relationships. And you get to be in a small group setting with other amazing women.
You’re going to love it!”
Mentorship 360
This is a uniquely designed mentorship program. It begins by viewing each individual as a whole being - physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental. It builds upon a mutual trust between the mentor and mentee. Topics range from parenting to finances to how to maintain life during this crisis.
We are now offering Mentorship 360 by appointment at SM office, via phone, or by Zoom. Contact us to schedule time with a mentor.
