Being celebrated is a display of God’s delight for us, spoken through others, we usually can’t see our own value, but others can. As single moms many of us do not realize that we are real life superheroes. We juggle work, home, and schooling, while making hard parenting decisions. We teach our children grit and grace, and we adapt to co-parenting schedules. Sometimes we can feel like we are celebrating life’s successes alone. Below is a friend’s ramblings on the art of celebrating while single parenting:
Since becoming a single mom, I have had some really BIG victories – you know, the ones that you find yourself posting on social media - graduating college, buying a house, mastering potty training, a kid graduating high school, etc. The highlight reel of my public life was STRONG. You would think I had it “all together”.
But in the background, in the midst of the everyday mess that doesn’t make it to social media, there were smaller, harder victories that were fought for– the moments when I managed to shower even though I didn’t want to get out of bed, when I showed up to the job I hated and did it well because it put food on the table, the moments where I broke a cycle, even if just for the minute. I didn’t have anyone to celebrate those mini moments that actually create longstanding change with. Often times because no one saw these victories, I felt like maybe I wasn’t moving forward. As I continued to get healthier, I began to form friendships with other women who saw me and who celebrated with me. They are my battle buddies, we laugh, cry, pray and celebrate one another.
In the grey area between starting over and settling into these new friendships, there was a season where I had to really look for the subtle ways God was celebrating me. Sometimes they were obvious, like a co-worker remembering it was my birthday and bringing me flowers and a card. Sometimes it was more random, like when I stumbled into the coffee shop after an all nighter with a sick kiddo, feeling invisible, and the barista had my order ready before I even made it to the register. Other times it was deeply personal, like when I was driving on the freeway wondering if all of this hard work and sacrifice was in vain, and I saw a random billboard that said “just keep going” and at that exact moment my favorite song came on the radio.
My favorite moment in that grey season was when I walked away from a relationship that I knew wasn’t right for me. I walked away despite a ton of fear over being alone. And though it was painful to face that fear, I felt such FREEDOM in walking away. I knew that this was a victory that I needed to celebrate. I went home, I put on our families “Crazy Dance Party” playlist and as we twirled and laughed, I made my favorite dessert. After the kids were worn out and in bed, I sat with my dessert and for the first time in a long time I thought to myself “Well done!”.
When I asked my friend what her favorite dessert was she shared with me that she didn’t actually care for traditional cakes or brownies, but that she loved a dish called Pavlova – it is a meringue that is popular in New Zeeland and Australia, and can be topped with whatever delicious toppings your heart desires!
At Single MOMM we believe that everyone has something in their life worthy of immense joy. Sometimes when we are feeling down, it can be helpful to have a reminder close by of what we have done well. Our staff also LOVES to repurpose items wherever we can. Thus, the celebration jar was born!
Create a celebration jar:
Find a mason jar (or even a clean spaghetti sauce jar – any clear jar will do)
Decorate the jar with paint, sharpie marker, glitter, tissue paper squares with glue wash – etc.
Use anything you already have on hand, there are no rules!
Each night or at the end of each week, as a family, sit with the Celebration Jar and share at least one thing each that was worthy of celebrating from the day/week. Write them down and place them in the jar.
Pull out celebrations to read anytime you need a little reminder that there are things worthy of joy and celebration – and that YOU are one of them!
One of the things we love most about our jobs is that we get to celebrate you! As we get to know you, we begin to see the innate way that God has designed you, and we love seeing the moment where YOU realize how unique and worthy of celebrating you are.
No matter where you are at today, we encourage you to think on what big and small victories you have experienced in single motherhood. We would love to hear them and celebrate with you as we boldly reimagine a radically different future for ourselves.
With Love,
Jennifer & The Single MOMM Team
Text: 231-227-3153
Call: 231-944-1710
Email: info@singlemomm.org
ACQUIRE:
We all could use a little more information about…lots of things! As single moms it can be a challenge to find time to gather the right kind of information to answer our financial, health, parenting, household, and life questions. Acquire classes are pop-up style classes with area experts on topics that pertain to life as single moms.
Upcoming Acquire Class:
Parenting Teens During COVID: Tuesday, March 30th // 6:30 - 8:00pm
Join area counselor Jeff Goodwin as he shares insight on how we can grow together with our teens during this time.
Connect with us for more information or to register for this class.
The INpowered Course
INpowered: At the intersection of our body, mind and spirit there is an element that is essential in living life to the fullest – wholeness. This nine-week course is designed specifically for single moms that have graduated from reVIVE. Together we will go beyond personal awareness and journey down the healing path. Topics include, addressing personal trauma, the importance of healthy attachment, how suffering impacts our relationship with God and others, and what does living fully alive really mean. All topics will be addressed through teaching sessions and small group discussions.
Mondays from April 5th – June 7th // 6:30 - 8:00pm
(No class on Memorial Day)
Connect with us for more information or to register for this class.
MENTORSHIP 360
This is a uniquely designed mentorship program. It begins by viewing each individual as a whole being - physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental. It builds upon a mutual trust between the mentor and mentee. Topics range from parenting to finances to how to maintain life during this crisis.
We are now offering Mentorship 360 by appointment at SM office, via phone, or by Zoom. Connect with us to schedule time with a mentor.